you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
