you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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