I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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