he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
