I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
