Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Please don't give away my fajitas
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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