Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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