woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
