Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
