I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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