And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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