i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
