So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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