It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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