my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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