Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
someone owes me an orgasm
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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