i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Say something about gay babies.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
