Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
