Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize