my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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