just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
