His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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