she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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