Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
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A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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