Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
