i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
