I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
