don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
