we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
