Got a toothbrush?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Someone signed my nipple.
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