Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
