wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
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the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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