She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
