Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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