Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
