is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
