what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
