Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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