I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
