He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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