Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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