it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You need a sexual gate keeper
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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