why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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