i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
