Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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