dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
