I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
