I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
