Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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