Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
