You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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