You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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