rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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