please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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