I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize