I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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