in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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