i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
