he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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