Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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