Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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