he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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