Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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