I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
