Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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