Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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