it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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