In America we eat man semen.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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